The Unteachables Podcast

#86: BEHAVIOUR BITE: Avoid locking horns.... at ALL costs. Here's how.

Claire English Season 5 Episode 86

Welcome to the second Behaviour Bite! Every Thursday (in addition to my main-course episode on Tuesday) I’ll be delivering one quick tip that you can put into action immediately to help you crush your classroom management!

TODAY'S BEHAVIOUR BITE:
Avoid locking horns... at all costs.

Listen in as I talk through this bite, and give you your actionable takeaway!


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Behaviour Bites one quick tip per week that you can put into action immediately to help you crush your classroom management. This is your host, Claire English, and this is your Bite of the Week. Hello, wonderful teachers, it is Thursday, which means I've got another little Behaviour Bite for you. These Behaviour Bites are something that's like super actionable you can take into your classroom straight away, or a really quick mindset shift, or just something bite-sized that every single one of you can listen to and implement immediately, which is going to become my favorite thing to do every single week. I am loving doing behavior bites already.

Speaker 1:

Disruptive and dysregulated manner. They sit down, they might put their feet up on the desk, they get their phone out of their pocket and they start blatantly making calls or talking to people around them, or whatever it is. That just whips up the class and gets everything off track. It derails everything that you've just worked so hard to get done. What feels really damn good in moments like these is being able to address the behavior head on and trying your very best to resolve it in the moment, trying to get that student to put that phone away, trying to almost regain control over that situation, because situations like that often trigger our own stress response. And when we are feeling stressed, when we are feeling in fight, fight or freeze, the natural thing for us to want to do is to be able to control things, to be able to get things back into a place of safety for us. But even though it feels good to be able to address it head on, what is actually effective in these moments is very different. If you want to actually be able to get back to teaching the lesson, if you want any chance of keeping things intact, you need to make it your goal, your absolute goal, to keep things non-confrontational.

Speaker 1:

So what we often see in this situation is us, as the teacher, trying to gain back that control, standing there in front of the student, demanding their phone off them, trying to resolve the behavior in the moment, trying to get compliance from that student, and because they're not willing to come on board with us, we get locked. We get into this head-to-head gridlock situation where we're not budging as teachers because we need to regain control, and that student's not going to budge because whatever's going on for them is going on for them, but also they're not going to want to lose face in front of the rest of the class either. But what to do instead? Because we still need to address their behaviors. We still need to show students that we are going to be following up with this stuff. We still need to make sure that the boundaries are in place. What we need to do is we need to make our requests or instructions clear and explicit, so we're reinforcing the behaviors that we want to see, and then give the students space and time to do what we've asked.

Speaker 1:

So let's think about this particular student. By the way, this just takes away any of the chance of us needing to be stuck in this head to head, horn to horn gridlock situation that often escalates the behaviors and stops us from getting back to the lesson. Here's what to do instead. Ask them is everything okay? Start with that connection, even if you don't want to, because that disarms a student. Then reinforce your boundaries. You know that we don't use our phones during class time and you know that if we can't use it appropriately, we have to hand it in in the morning. So you've set that expectation. You've set the consequence.

Speaker 1:

I am going to be checking back in five minutes time. When I check back in in five minutes time, I expect that X. I expect that your phone's in your pocket. I expect you're getting on with this question. I expect that I'll see two sentences done. What you're doing is you're setting a very clear boundary with that student, you're reinforcing your expectations and then you're leaving it up to them. The student knows there'll be follow-up. The student knows there's going to be an action taken after, if need be, and guess what? The rest of the class have just seen you reinforce those expectations and those boundaries as well. That right there is leading the room.

Speaker 1:

So your action point for this week is swap out this scenario for anything that might be raising your blood pressure this week, any behavior scenario that you might get sucked into locking horns with students, and remember that same principle. Follow that same principle. Avoid locking horns at all costs and make your instructions clear and explicit and then give them space to do whatever you've asked them to do and if they do do what you've asked them to do, give them a little thumbs up as you're continuing to teach, and it just makes so much sense for us to be able to crack on with the learning for every single one in the classroom. This was your weekly behavior bite and I can't wait to see you next week for another. Bye for now. Follow that same principle avoid locking horns at all costs and make your instructions clear and explicit and then give them space to do whatever you've asked them to do, and if they do do what you've asked them to do, give them a little thumbs up as you're continuing to teach, and it just makes so much sense for us to be able to crack on with the learning for every single one in the classroom. This was your weekly behavior bite and I can't wait to see you next week for another. Bye for now.

Speaker 1:

This behavior bite was brought to you by the Behavior Club, my wonderful membership for teachers, where every single month, I'm releasing training around a focus area, quality resources to lighten the load in every sense of the word, a brilliant community that I'm in daily answering questions and giving personalized support, and just so much more. So consider this my personal invite to come on in, take a look around, and I absolutely can't wait to see you there. Help you feel confident, help you feel capable and just crush classroom management. Head to the-unteachablescom forward, slash TBC or find the link in the show notes. Me and my behavior clubbers are popping on a cuppa and pulling up a seat as we speak.

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