The Unteachables Podcast

#100: Goodbye, 2024!! Reflections on rest, filling our cups, and how to return to school in 2025 feeling like "you" again.

• Claire English • Season 5 • Episode 100

Share episode

Episode 100!!! (AND the last episode of 2024) is both a reflection and a reminder—a moment to pause and think about what truly fills your cup during the holidays. Teaching can be all-consuming, and it’s vital to find ways to not just rest but to feel rejuvenated and reconnected with yourself.

IN THIS EPISODE, I DISCUSS:

  • Why resting isn’t always enough – the difference between rest and rejuvenation.
  • The 5 basic needs cups from choice theory – love and belonging, fun, survival, mastery and power, and freedom.
  • Identifying how you're truly feeling – and how to intentionally fill your cups in ways that align with your unique needs.
  • The importance of prioritising your wellbeing – because the work we do as teachers depends on it.

As this year comes to an end, take a moment to reflect on how you feel and what you need. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, reigniting a hobby, or simply taking time to rest, be intentional about filling the cups that leave you feeling whole.

If you’ve enjoyed the podcast this year, I’d be so grateful if you could leave a review—it would mean the world to me. Thank you for letting me support you throughout 2024. I can’t wait to bring you fresh episodes, new ideas, and plenty of support in the new year.

Sending all my love, and as my little one says, “bye bye, ta ta, see you later!” 💛

Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!

Resources and links:

Connect with me:


Speaker 1:

Hello, wonderful teachers, welcome back to the final episode of the Unteachables podcast for 2024, which means that you are either already finished school for the year or you are nearly finished school for the year. So I am very excited. I actually really like this time of the year, particularly for the work that I do, because I think it's the only time where I can guarantee that every single teacher is taking some kind of time off, because you know summer holidays are different, you know Easter breaks are different. All of the other holidays throughout the year are quite different, but I know for sure that teachers are not going to be working on New Year's Day. So, yes, this is the last episode of the podcast for 2024. I'm actually going to give myself a break, which is really, really hard for me. Actually, I don't like taking breaks off this work. I feel a little bit funny taking breaks off this work, but I have promised myself that I will be taking a break.

Speaker 1:

This year has been really big and really heavy, so I thought I'd start this episode with like a little bit of a recap of some great things and some challenges, and this will, I promise, lead into what I wanted to talk about for this week. That has every relevance to you. But a few huge positive highlights this year. Like, my book was released. It's never just about the behavior, it was published, so I became a published author. This year the book sales have gone really, really well. I've had so many of you wonderful, wonderful teachers reach out to me saying that you love the book, so that has been just like this huge positive beacon of light. This year I have like every step of that journey has been so incredible, so exciting.

Speaker 1:

The next thing is starting the behavior club, and when I started the behavior like, it was such a lot of work to set up, but I feel like I am now able to serve teachers deeply in a way that is just so aligned with my mission. It's incredible. I freaking love it's my baby and over 300 of you are in the behavior club now, and it's the best thing about my behavior club is your bad asses. It is just such a privilege to be able to wake up every morning and jump into the community and serve you in any way that I possibly can. Um, it's made me kind of come back to how much I enjoy creating resources and things that are going to lighten the load, cause I kind of didn't do that for a long time with my other courses and stuff. I wasn't resourcing as much, but because I'm doing a new like kind of behavior focus each month, I get to sit down and I get to like just create and it's just. It lights me up so much in so many ways.

Speaker 1:

So the behavior club has been a huge, huge positive for the year and, of course, a highlight has been watching my baby go from. Well, a baby who was just like at the start of the year she was I get really tearful who was just crawling around and saying a couple of words and like fast forward 11 months and you know like she's running and she's counting and she's saying full sentences and you know one of the sentences this morning was hurry up, mommy. When I was trying to go to the toilet. Hurry up, come on, mama. When I was trying to go to the toilet. But up come on, mama. When I was trying to go to the toilet. But you know she's a bossy, strong-willed, incredible little girl and it's just been the most beautiful thing to watch her grow.

Speaker 1:

So those are the three things that have been just boundlessly joyful this year, but then there have also been some really hard times. And in February we were living in London and we got the news about my father-in-law who was diagnosed with stage four cancer. So we immediately moved from the UK to New Zealand. So we said goodbye to all of our friends and everything we knew and we've just been here adjusting to this new life and hoping for positive news each scan and, in general, just feeling really in limbo and really listless because we aren't settling here forever. We're only here for a year, just so my husband can support his family. And in just over a month just after you know we've been here for a year we had that huge move and in just over a month we have our next huge move over to Australia where we're finally going to put down some roots.

Speaker 1:

So it has been just a huge year of just constant change and with no consistency and so much uncertainty and my brain really struggles with that stuff. You know like I like to know what's happening and I like to have that structure. So I do struggle with that and I haven't made any friends here. I haven't made any friends here because I feel like saying goodbye to my friends in London was so hard and I kind of felt like what's the point, which has been a little bit sad. Um, I'm like I'm just so busy with work and with Ava and um, I've just felt like what's the point of investing. So I'm really, really, really excited to get back to Australia to my family and friends as well.

Speaker 1:

But even with all of that happening and knowing that I really really do need a break, I get itchy. I hate it. I hate taking a break and I've always been like this, even for a week or two. I don't like stopping when the work lights me up like this.

Speaker 1:

In my early teaching career, I spent the whole Easter break once. Granted, I didn't have a child and I didn't have found teachables, so you know this is where my energy could go. But I spent the whole Easter break once creating an extension creative writing program. But I ignored the mountain of assignments I had to grade, like I ignored the stuff that I had to do for school. But I spent all of this time creating an extension creative writing program.

Speaker 1:

Because here's the thing about taking a break when people say you need to rest, when people say you need to fill your cup, they often get it wrong or it's misunderstood, because resting doesn't always fill your cup. You could lay in bed for an entire break and still go back to school feeling exhausted and depleted. Instead, for the break, and I told you I'd come back to like I'd link this into what I wanted to talk about for this episode. That obviously has a lot of relevance for you. But instead I want you to think and I mean really think what is something that you can do, not just to rest, but feel rejuvenated, to feel lit up, to come back into yourself, because teaching can be so, can take so much from us, and when you're in the thick of the term, it can truly feel like this all consuming beast. And there have been times in my life where I've really lost myself in the day to day of it and kind of lost that spark for what I really love about teaching, which is, ironically, the teaching part of it.

Speaker 1:

But think, what can you really do to come back into yourself? And when I'm talking about like losing myself, think what can you really do to come back into yourself. And when I'm talking about like losing myself, like I really couldn't if you asked me what, what is your hobby Like? What do you like doing? I don't. I wouldn't have known. In those early days of teaching, I couldn't tell you what anything I enjoyed doing outside of teaching was, because I felt like I didn't have the time for it. I lost myself in it. Um, but like, really think what can you do in your break? You know, um, but like really think what can you do in your break? You know this coming break to truly come back to yourself and do something that you love and you feel lit up by.

Speaker 1:

In order to do this, I want you to think about filling your cups. So when people say, fill your cup, I want you to think about filling your cup through the lens of choice theory and the five basic needs, because the metaphor of that and I've spoken about it a few times on the podcast, but the metaphor of that is that you have five different cups. There are basic needs and we fill them with things like we behave in order to fill those cups. We have our love and belonging cup, we have our fun cup, our survival cup, our mastery and power cup and our freedom cup. Throughout the term, very often these start to dry up and we don't have the time or resources or energy to keep topping them up. And guess what Resting alone is not going to fill all of them up. It might fill the survival cup up, it might fill the freedom cup up, but it's not going to fill all of them up if we just lay in bed and rest, even if we do need that physically. Let's talk through them a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Is your love and belonging cup depleted? If you're a teacher, you might not have had a lot of time to spend time with friends, to spend time with your family. You might be feeling really heavy from that. If that's the case, go and spend some time with them. Do something that's really exciting with them. Go on a picnic with them. Give somebody a call, or natter away at 10 PM with a glass of wine Whatever you need to do to feel like you're coming back into yourself with your family and friends. Go and spend time with your children. Do something that's really focused and present with them. Go and play some Play-Doh or go for a lovely walk so something that's going to fill that love and belonging cup. Go for a lovely dinner with your partner, like whatever you need to do, is your fun cup empty. Go see a movie. Go ice skating. Go cook that dish that you love. Go do whatever it is that fun means to you, because fun means something different to everybody. I mean, I fill my love, my fun cup with this work. This is really fun to me.

Speaker 1:

Is your survival cup empty? Do you need to get back on top of your healthy habits? Drink more water. I think I've been perpetually dehydrated for the last 15 years. I don't think I drink enough water any day. When I got all of my tests done for my pregnancy, they're like you're dehydrated, you're dehydrated, you're dehydrated and I'm like I'm trying to drink more water. This is not a part of my. This is not a part of my um. You know my habits, but I do need to do that, you know. Do you need to just lay in bed and zone out because you're exhausted and physically need to rest and watch reruns of friends? Is your power and mastery cup empty? Do you need to go and practice your hobbies?

Speaker 1:

This is me during COVID, because I, my cup, my power and mastery cup was filled up by teaching and work. So when that was gone, I felt so out of control with my mastery and power. So I took up sourdough making, like probably every second person did, but I had to do things that made me feel like I was progressing towards mastery or I was doing something that was, you know, helping me develop my skills in some way. It's probably why I listen to my power and mastery cup, because everyone's got different size cups. Everyone's got different needs profiles. I think my power and mastery cup is really big and hard to fill because every second I'm not with my child or not working, I am listening to podcasts and trying to do professional development and all of this stuff. Is your freedom cup empty? If you gravitate towards travel and road trips and getting out on a hike, that might be you. I'm not saying you need to do all of these things.

Speaker 1:

As I said, we all have different needs profiles and we all meet our needs differently. So when I said that I start getting itchy when I'm not working and I'm actually feeling quite anxious about the break that I'm about to take from the podcast and from the work that I do, I'm not taking like a very long break. It might just be a week or so but it's because work actually fills my cups. My work fills my mastery and power cup, my work fills my fun cup and we all meet our needs in different ways and some needs are going to be more dominant than others. And if we dig into these and if you've done that or teach in my course, you will know cause I do a lot of reflection on the basic needs and what that means for our students and what that means for us. When I learned more about the needs, it's like, oh my gosh. It's so enlightening about why we have these particular needs profiles because it says a lot about us as a person and the personality like our personalities. But it also says a lot about how we grew up and often the needs that were depleted are the ones that we're trying to kind of like fill later in life. Uh, but yeah, it's super interesting the way that we can look at our needs and how we fill our cups and all the rest of it.

Speaker 1:

Um, so when people say to you, go and fill your cup, they're not talking about just, you know, talking about just laying on the lounge. If that fills your cup, perfect, that fills my cup sometimes too, like I am such what do they call it the kids these days? Uh, rotting on the lounge. I love a good day rot. It doesn't happen anymore because I've got a toddler, but oh my gosh. Maybe I will plan myself a day rot day because she's still able to go to daycare. Maybe I'll just send her into daycare just before Christmas and I will plan out a day rot day to fill my cup.

Speaker 1:

Do something that will fill your cups up and I mean like properly fill them up, not just I'm going to lay here and physically rest, because I think that's going to help. So, something I want you to do before you head into the holidays. If you're tired, if you're depleted I want to. I want you to ask yourself these questions or do some journaling around it. The first question how do I feel right now? Am I depleted? Ask yourself, then what does that actually mean? What has me depleted? What cups aren't full? And the next one what are the things that I can intentionally do this break, the things that are within my control that will help me feel more like myself? That will help me feel more like I am coming home to myself so important.

Speaker 1:

So how do I feel right now? Am I depleted? What does that actually mean? What has me depleted? What cups aren't filled and what are the things that I can intentionally schedule in this break that are in my control financially and resource wise and all the rest of it and time wise, that are going to help me feel a lot more like myself, make me feel like I'm coming home to myself. Listen, my bag is classroom management, obviously, as you can tell if you're listening to this podcast, but your health and wellbeing must come first. The work that you do relies so much on this and we are losing incredible teachers, probably minute by minute, because schools aren't recognizing this. So go into the holidays and fill those cups and when you're ready to go back to school, I am going to be waiting on the other end with a fresh year and a fresh season of the Unteachables podcast and I can't freaking wait for it. You know that I'll be sitting there itchy, ready to release another episode of the podcast.

Speaker 1:

If you have enjoyed this podcast this year, it would mean so much for you to head over and leave review.

Speaker 1:

Consider it a Christmas present because, honestly, I can't think of anything else that I want or need more than that.

Speaker 1:

My husband keeps pestering me and all I can think about is some hair elastics, because I keep getting frustrated that I can't find any. I don't enjoy shopping. I hate looking for new clothes. I don't get my nails done, I don't like perfume, I wear my Birkenstocks or my Vans everywhere, but the idea of sitting down and reading a nice review for the Unteachables podcast, for the work that I've been doing all year, is the best present that I could imagine. So please, if you have the time and capacity to be able to do that, head over and leave me preferably a five-star review and a lovely review if you have the time to do that, and it truly would mean so much, and I read all of those and they definitely light me up in ways that you can't imagine. Okay, fantastic teacher, thank you so much for letting me support you this year and I can't wait for plenty more when that clock ticks over into 2025. How is it 2025? Sending all my best and, as my two-year-old says, bye-bye, ta-ta, see you later.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Claire English

Host