The Unteachables Podcast
Welcome to 'The Unteachables Podcast', your go-to resource for practical classroom management strategies and teacher support. I’m your host, Claire English, a passionate secondary teacher and leader turned teacher mentor and author of 'It's Never Just About the Behaviour: A Holistic Approach to Classroom Behaviour Management.' I'm on a mission to help educators like you transform your classrooms, build confidence, and feel empowered.
Why am I here? Not too long ago, I was overwhelmed by low-level classroom disruptions and challenging behaviors. After thousands of hours honing my skills in real classrooms and navigating ups and downs, I’ve become a confident, capable teacher ready to reach every student—even those with the most challenging behaviors. My journey inspired me to support teachers like you in mastering effective classroom strategies that promote compassion, confidence, and calm.
On The Unteachables Podcast, we’ll dive into simple, actionable strategies that you can use to handle classroom disruptions, boost student engagement, and create a positive learning environment.
You'll hear from renowned experts such as:
Bobby Morgan of the Liberation Lab
Marie Gentles, behavior expert behind BBC's 'Don't Exclude Me' and author of 'Gentles Guidance'
Robyn Gobbel, author of 'Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviours'
Dr. Lori Desautels, assistant professor and published author
And many more behaviour experts and mentors.
Angela Watson from the Truth for Teachers Podcast.
Whether you’re an early career teacher, a seasoned educator, or a teaching assistant navigating classroom challenges, this podcast is here to help you feel happier, empowered, and ready to make an impact with every student.
Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode packed with classroom tips and inspiring conversations that make a real difference!
The Unteachables Podcast
#117: What to prioritise when big behaviours bubble up in the lesson.
You're in the middle of a lesson, focused on delivering content, when a student walks in displaying behaviours that signal things are about to escalate. Maybe they look angry, and you know they have the potential to become physical. Maybe they’re swearing, laughing, and trying to draw in the rest of the class. Maybe they walk in and tip over a chair.
Your brain immediately goes into survival mode. You feel the pressure to fix the situation, regain control, and keep the lesson on track. It’s completely understandable—you’re being observed, you have content to cover, and you want a calm classroom.
But here’s the thing: your goal in that moment is not to fix the behaviour, but to de-escalate it.
In this episode, I break down the difference between pushing students further up the escalation cycle (Door #1) and creating pathways down (Door #2). I’ll share practical strategies for staying calm, using non-threatening language, and guiding students toward a place where they can self-regulate—so that meaningful behaviour conversations can happen later, when they’re actually ready.
Listen in as I discuss:
- Why fixing behaviour in the moment is not the goal. Understanding the brain’s stress response.
- The two doors we open during de-escalation. One escalates behaviour, the other creates a pathway down.
- Practical strategies for de-escalating big behaviours. Non-verbal cues, connection-based responses, and avoiding common mistakes.
MASTERCLASS: REAL CONSEQUENCES, REAL CHANGE
Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!
RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:
- Shop all resources
- Join The Behaviour Club
- My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
- The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
- Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'
Connect with me:
- Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
- Check out my website
Oh, hi there, teachers, welcome to the Unteachables podcast. I'm your host, claire English, and I am just a fellow teacher, a toddler mama and a big old behavior nerd on a mission to demystify and simplify that little thing called classroom management. The way we've all been taught to manage behavior and classroom manage has left us playing crowd control, which is not something I subscribe to, because we're not dancers, we're teachers. So listen in as I walk you through the game, changing strategies and I mean the things that we can actually do and action in our classrooms that will allow you to lean into your beautiful values as a compassionate educator and feel empowered to run your room with a little more calm and, dare I say it, a lot less chaos. I will see you in the episode. Hi, hello, welcome. Thank you for joining me here for the Unteachables podcast. I'm Claire, I'm your host, if you don't know that already, if you haven't listened before, and if you have listened before, then welcome back. It is so lovely to have you here Today.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be talking about when behaviors are happening in the middle of a lesson. What do we do? How do we deescalate? How do we resolve it in the moment, like, what do we actually do, and I'm going to start by giving you a bit of a scenario. So you're in the middle of a lesson and you're trying to get through content and a student walks in displaying some behaviors that are clearly getting ready to bubble up and bubble over. Maybe they're just looking really angry and you don't know what the student's going to do next. But you know, this student can very quickly become physical. Maybe they're trying to draw the rest of the class in by swearing and laughing and just getting really over the top. Maybe you're teaching and they walk in and they tip over a chair. So your brain immediately goes into I need to fix it. I need to get back in control. After all, your brain is going to be in survival mode too. So what happens is you try to fix the situation as quickly as possible. You try to stop that behavior from happening. After all, it's your job, right, it's what's expected of you. So you tell them to go back outside and try again. You try to explain why speaking to you like that is not appropriate and for them to apologize and take accountability for what they've done.
Speaker 1:Maybe your go-to is to try to reason with the student. Maybe you try to reason for them to sit down and start working, otherwise they're not going to learn what they need to learn in your class for the exam that's coming up. Maybe you go down the route of warning them. You warn them if they don't sit down and get started then they will need to stay after class or catch up after school, or they're going to get a phone call home. You might ask them what's going on. You might reinforce your expectations. You might have them to reflect, you know, get them to reflect on why they're acting like that and what the impact might be.
Speaker 1:All the while you're trying to do all of these things whatever you're trying to do to fix the situation as quickly as possible, you try to resolve the behavior. You try to get them back to work. All the while that student is probably still sitting there with their big behaviors that are escalating and escalating, and escalating. You are trying to stop that behavior and get back to learning as quickly as possible. Of course you are. Your principal might be lurking around judging your practice on your ability to keep everybody calm and compliant. You're trying to get through content. Your stress response is probably firing.
Speaker 1:So what happens is we need. We think, as teachers, that we need to fix it all, we need to address it all, we need to close the book on that big behavior. Right then and there, there's this immense pressure and this immense responsibility that we feel in order to do that. And if you're thinking like, yes, I do feel that pressure, I do feel that responsibility. When behaviors are happening in my classroom, I do feel like I need to fix things, then and there I need to resolve things, I need to get them back on track. I really hope, I really really hope this episode takes a bit of pressure off, because I need you to know that the goal in the moment when it comes to big behaviors is not to fix it, it's not to address it. The goal in the moment needs to be just to deescalate it.
Speaker 1:Brains that are absolutely flooded with stress, like because of the big behaviors you're seeing, like the students who have these big behaviors, it's likely their brains are flooded with stress. They cannot respond to reason. If a student is dysregulated, they're not going to be listening to you. When you try to get them to get back on with their work or to talk about their behavior or to reflect, those pathways in their brain are literally shut down when they're right at the top of that escalation cycle. Instead, what we need to be doing is finding pathways down and out of escalation.
Speaker 1:But when you open door number one, which is trying to reason with them, trying to threaten them, trying to get them back on track and resolve things, sometimes what we're doing is just pushing them further up the escalation cycle, which is stopping us from getting the result we're after, which is just to be able to crack on with teaching for the rest of the class as well. So the goal in the moment must be to deescalate the behavior, so then you can work with them. You don't need to make them see how wrong their behavior was. You don't need to get a resolution, you don't need to give them a consequence in the moment in the lesson, you just need de-escalation. All of that other stuff is going to be important. If these behaviors are big behaviors, of course you're going to need time to resolve it, but it's not when it's in the middle of the lesson. It's not going to be productive.
Speaker 1:Instead, here's what door number two looks like to open First up non-threatening body language, not standing over the student, avoiding threats. They're going to further escalate things, trying to connect, saying something like whoa tough day, mate. I can see you're not in a good place. What do you need right now? Are you okay? What can we do right now to get you in a place for learning? Are you able to manage in this classroom? Are you able to manage this lesson? Do you think getting a drink and just taking five outside might be a good idea? Something's going on, I can see that. Is it something I can help with? Is it something we need to do here Now?
Speaker 1:Some people will say that opening door number two is permissive, especially when there are some big behaviors going on. Some people will say it's soft. Some people will say that it's not going to get you the results you want. That is not correct. It is smart, it is strategic, it is strong and it is backed by neuroscience. It allows you to get that student back on track in the lesson. At the very least, it allows you to start to de-escalate the behaviors from that student and it gives you the buy-in to then authentically resolve the behavior at a time that is more appropriate, not when it's in the classroom, because you can't resolve big behaviors as they're happening when the student's still escalated.
Speaker 1:So next time big behaviors are happening in your classroom, I want you to stop and think how can I create a pathway down for this student? Because then, and only then, can you work with that student on the behavior itself. And if you want to learn more about working on the behavior itself, you should definitely check out my masterclass Real Consequences, real Change, where I take you through an entire roadmap for deescalating and resolving challenging behaviors and using consequences that actually get buy-in and actually work. It's my goal through this masterclass to get you feeling super confident, leading on effective behavior chats. And these effective behavior chats don't happen in the middle of the lesson, when students are still escalated. So in this masterclass, I actually take you through in the moment when things are escalated. What do we do Then? What do we do to get them prepared for these discussions, if need be? And then how do we do this in the most effective, time sensitive way possible and actually reach really meaningful resolutions that create change, moving forward, not just for the moment.
Speaker 1:So the behavior cycle continues. I'm talking authentically resolving behavior and giving students the opportunities and the skills to resolve things in the long term. So for this episode, teachers, your action point is just to remember that in the heat of the moment, when things are really challenging, when behaviors are really big, you can simply focus on de-escalation. You don't need to resolve things. You don't need to get students to think about how bad their behaviors were. You don't have to get them to apologize, you don't have to get them to do anything necessarily. We're just focusing on de-escalation because then, when the time comes to meaningfully resolve the behavior, you will have far more buy-in for the student to do what needs to be done, which is take accountability and make changes moving forward. Have a wonderful week ahead and I will see you in the next episode.
