The Unteachables Podcast
Welcome to 'The Unteachables Podcast', your go-to resource for practical classroom management strategies and teacher support. I’m your host, Claire English, a passionate secondary teacher and leader turned teacher mentor and author of 'It's Never Just About the Behaviour: A Holistic Approach to Classroom Behaviour Management.' I'm on a mission to help educators like you transform your classrooms, build confidence, and feel empowered.
Why am I here? Not too long ago, I was overwhelmed by low-level classroom disruptions and challenging behaviors. After thousands of hours honing my skills in real classrooms and navigating ups and downs, I’ve become a confident, capable teacher ready to reach every student—even those with the most challenging behaviors. My journey inspired me to support teachers like you in mastering effective classroom strategies that promote compassion, confidence, and calm.
On The Unteachables Podcast, we’ll dive into simple, actionable strategies that you can use to handle classroom disruptions, boost student engagement, and create a positive learning environment.
You'll hear from renowned experts such as:
Bobby Morgan of the Liberation Lab
Marie Gentles, behavior expert behind BBC's 'Don't Exclude Me' and author of 'Gentles Guidance'
Robyn Gobbel, author of 'Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviours'
Dr. Lori Desautels, assistant professor and published author
And many more behaviour experts and mentors.
Angela Watson from the Truth for Teachers Podcast.
Whether you’re an early career teacher, a seasoned educator, or a teaching assistant navigating classroom challenges, this podcast is here to help you feel happier, empowered, and ready to make an impact with every student.
Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode packed with classroom tips and inspiring conversations that make a real difference!
The Unteachables Podcast
#124: What to do when you’ve tried it all (and behaviour is STILL a battle).
You’ve followed the advice. You’ve implemented the strategies. You’ve worked your heart out – and still, that one student just isn’t responding. It feels hopeless. Like nothing’s shifting. Like all your effort is for nothing. If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I’ve tried everything, and it’s not working,” this episode is for you.
IN THIS EPISODE, I DISCUSS:
- Why your strategies are working, even when it doesn’t feel like it
- The importance of patience when working with our most vulnerable students
- Why “keep going” is sometimes the most powerful advice
- What we can control – and what we have to let go of
So if you’re in that place right now – doing all the right things and still feeling stuck – I hope this episode gives you a bit of clarity and reassurance. You are making an impact, even if you can’t see it yet. Keep showing up, keep connecting, and be kind to yourself along the way.
Have a question, comment, or just want to say hello? Drop us a text!
RESOURCES AND MORE SUPPORT:
- Shop all resources
- Join The Behaviour Club
- My book! It’s Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management
- The Low-Level Behaviour Bootcamp
- Free guide: 'Chats that Create Change'
Connect with me:
- Follow on Instagram @the.unteachables
- Check out my website
Oh, hi there teachers, welcome to the Unteachables podcast. I'm your host, claire English, and I am just a fellow teacher, a toddler mama and a big old behavior nerd on a mission to demystify and simplify that little thing called classroom management. The way we've all been taught to manage behavior and classroom manage has left us playing crowd control, which is not something I subscribe to, because we're not dancers, we're teachers. So listen in as I walk you through the game, changing strategies and I mean the things that we can actually do and action in our classrooms that will allow you to lean into your beautiful values as a compassionate educator and feel empowered to run your room with a little more calm and, dare I say it, a lot less chaos. I will see you in the episode.
Speaker 2:Hello, fabulous teacher, welcome back to the Unteachables podcast. I'm Claire English and I can't wait to spend a bit of time with you today talking about some classroom management stuff, because it's so desperately needed. So it's always exciting when somebody joins me for an episode of the pod. So today is all about what to do when you've tried it all and I hear it a lot and I've said it to myself, I've tried everything. I've tried that it's not working, things aren't changing, behaviour's not changing. It's hard and it can feel hopeless and it can feel so bloody frustrating. And this episode I really just wanted to reframe that a little bit and this episode is actually inspired by one of my fabulous behavior clubbers who really is doing it all Like she really is. She's so incredible she's. You know the way her practice has developed is incredible the behavior she's mitigated and how she's gotten back on top of low level disruptions and the impact she's making in her classroom. But she's stuck on this one student and when I say she's trying all of the things, she's trying all of the things and obviously it's working with most Incredible progress. You know like she's doing incredible work in her classroom. But there's this one student, despite all of the work on routines, despite what she's doing in terms of teaching and learning support, despite the expectation setting, despite like living those expectations in the day to day and setting boundaries and investing in the emotional piggy bank and her own teaching presence and the follow up and literally every single other little thing she's doing is incredible. I'm so impressed Every time she comes to speak to me. I'm like you are like the model of somebody who is like taking accountability for what you can control and doing those things and like it's incredible. But this student is still not coming on board. This one student. He won't engage in behavior chats, he won't engage with her at all. He just runs away, absolutely runs away. Just see you later, legs it. And here was my advice to my incredible behavior clubber Keep doing more of the same stuff. Just keep doing what you're doing. Sometimes it really isn't about the fact that you're doing something wrong, like you just need to do the same stuff a lot of the time. Actually, it's the fact that you haven't given it enough time.
Speaker 2:When we talk about the most vulnerable students, the students who are most impacted by trauma, the students who have had really challenging experiences at school, there is no magic bullet. The strategies we're using, the connected strategies, the strategies that de-escalate, that co-regulate, that develop rapport, that hold high expectations all of the things, these are the strategies that. All of the things, these are the strategies that rewire the brain. But the brain of our student did not develop in that way that they are presenting right now overnight. So we cannot expect the strategies that we're using to be impactful immediately Now. That can feel really hard for us because we want to fix it, we want to support them, we want to get through to them, we want to make our classroom a safe space for them and we believe in them. We do. We believe in them so fiercely and that they can have a better future, a better life. If only things were different. And we try so hard to change that narrative for them and it's frustrating and it's draining and it can make us feel like crap because we're doing all the things and investing and pouring ourselves into that student. So I always say that we need to focus on what we can control and we just need to keep doing more of that, without judgment, without expectation, because we can't control their response.
Speaker 2:I had the wonderful Robin Goble on my podcast a while back now, but she is just incredible. So she has a book called Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors and she is just incredible at explaining, like, what's happening in the brain and how we can create felt safety for these children. And one of the things that she said on this podcast that I've I think I've quoted dozens of times since then is that we can always offer safety. We can present safety to students, we can offer rapport, we can do all of the things, but we cannot control whether or not they accept that. They actually don't have to accept that, like they, like their brains, we can't expect them, after all of the things they've gone through in their lives, to immediately respond to our offerings of safety and to suggest that they just immediately kind of let go of all of those mechanisms in their brain that has kept them safe for so long. I think it's a bit of a privileged thing to expect. So we need to focus on what we can control. We need to offer safety, we need to offer all of the things we're offering to them, but we can't force them to accept that. We really can't. We can control using power with and not power over strategies, but we can't control whether or not they accept that, whether they trust us. We can't control their behaviors.
Speaker 2:So the actual advice that I gave this beautiful teacher, this teacher who is doing everything that she can, is to just keep on doing what she's already doing, because sometimes the answer isn't trying new things, it's just doing more of the same thing. You know these strategies they're not going to work overnight. You know she's already trying to do it all. So I really wanted to make sure that message was loud and clear, that if one student in particular is not coming on board with your approach, or you've got a handful of students who are still really struggling, the approaches that we use don't necessarily happen overnight, but they're always going to be a better option than the alternative.
Speaker 2:The alternative is to use disconnecting strategies, power over strategies, strategies that get no buy-in and that are taking 10 steps back with students rather than one micro step forward, because I will, at any day of the week, on any on any day of the week, choose to take a micro step forward or even stand still in the same place with a student. If they're not ready yet, then take 20 steps back, because I've used a strategy that is reinforcing their beliefs about themselves, their beliefs about the education system, their mistrust of authority figures, their you know the failures that people have had in the past with them when it comes to, like you know, caregivers and parental figures and education system and all those things. We need to stay steady in what we're already doing and I know that's really hard for us to do, because we want to make change. And, to be very honest with you, I think and I said this to her as well sometimes the students who are in our care they probably would benefit from a more therapeutic placement rather than a mainstream setting because of the needs that they have just far outweigh what we can provide for them, because they do need intensive support and sometimes we can't provide that. But I always would say that, student, there you're doing everything you know. Just keep on keeping on and keep being open to working with them. Keep being open to you know, reaching out and touching base and asking if they want to have a chat or, you know, try to change it up a little bit and go for a walk and talk or like whatever it might be, but we just have to keep on keeping on sometimes.
Speaker 2:So my beautiful, compassionate, empathetic, brilliant teachers out there listening, who are doing everything in their power to support all of their young people and not seeing the fruits of their labors for some of their students. I need you to please remember that you are making an impact, an incredible impact. You are changing things. You are literally rewiring their brains just by showing up, just by choosing to connect rather than disconnect, and no matter how that student is responding to that, it does not change just how transformative the work you're doing is. And this is not me trying to like be, oh, teachers of martyrs and all that kind of stuff. This is just me saying that the work you do matters and you are making an impact.
Speaker 2:And it can feel really hard sometimes, feeling like you're not making an impact with these students. And I also just want to remind you that you need to take care of yourself, because this stuff can be really hard on us and you know, especially if we're those empathetic type teachers and we kind of take it on and take it home and we need to get really good at leaving it at the door and saying you know what like this is a really important job, but it's still just my job and I need to come here and I need to show up in a certain way, but I can't take that on, I can't control that, I need to leave it at the door and I need to go and take care of myself. Nothing reinforced that more than when I had my daughter. My gosh, I had my daughter and everything changed for me and I'm like I can't show up for her. I can't come home If I'm at school dealing with these big, volatile, violent behaviors and showing up for her in a way that I have an emotional capacity for, because you know, raising a baby and having a toddler and all of the things is it's a massive test on our own capacity and self-regulation and skills in co-regulation.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's the, that's the work of a parent, isn't it? And you know, if I was going to school every day and bringing that heaviness home with me and not having the capacity for that, like I was just so afraid of the parent that I'd be able to be for her and show up for her, so Like I was just so afraid of the parent that I'd be able to be for her and show up for her. So it really reminded me of the importance of us taking care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves sometimes is by saying, okay, well, that student does need support and I am willing to do this in school and I'm putting the time and the effort in. But I need to go home and, you know, have some boundaries around my own emotional capacity when it comes to this work, which is really hard for us empathetic teachers to do sometimes. So enough of that waffling.
Speaker 2:This whole episode has been a big old waffle, but I hope it has helped even one of you out there that feels responsible constantly for making these massive changes when sometimes all you need to do is more of the same stuff and stop being so damn hard on yourself. So I am sending love for the week ahead. Please take care of yourself, please, please, please and until next week. Bye for now, lovely teachers.
